Working with the Heart

Scott Kellogg, PhD

As our upcoming training on healing, or attempting to heal, the suffering of the heart draws near, I want to share the story about my creative journey.

This workshop is particularly meaningful to me as, like many of you, I am no stranger to some of these experiences; this has been a driving force in my search for ways to help the heart heal.

The first of these is Grief and Loss. The writings of Fritz Perls, Stephan Tobin, and Robert and Mary Goulding initially inspired me, and their work remains at the center of my efforts. This not only involves talking to the person who is gone but also engaging in the excruciating work of saying goodbye, which can be the cost of reclaiming one’s freedom.

Difficult Relationship work—or finding ways to be with people who are "difficult" or challenging—draws on the specific Psychodrama practices of role reversal and self-doubling. I learned this approach from Rebecca Walters and Judy Swallow at the Hudson Valley Psychodrama Institute.

Confrontation Dialogues—speaking with anger and fear to those who have mistreated and abused us—can be a centerpiece in the process of recovering from interpersonal trauma.

Mixed Feelings. Here, we have been deeply rooted in Perls’ work with ambivalence and the importance of creating therapeutic opportunities for expressing the appreciations and resentments that we have towards others. The Rhombic Dialogue structure is a great vehicle for this work.

Change and Betrayal Dialogues are more distinct to our group. I discovered the Vector Dialogue structure around 2011, and that serves as the underlying foundation. These dialogues are focused on the grief that emerges when a loved one changes in such a dramatic way that they are no longer recognizable. This can be due to developmental or time-based forces, tragic experiences, addictions, ideological transformations, or betrayal and moral failures. The challenge is that while the body is still there, it is as if a “different” person is now inhabiting it. The therapy involves first accepting that the person that they loved and valued is gone and is not coming back, and, second, going through the process of saying goodbye.

Chairwork was, in many ways, created for these forms of suffering; we also know that Chairwork is not for everyone.

If you would like to share your thoughts and experiences with heart healing, we would be happy to hear them. You can reach us at: info@chairworkpsychotherapy.com